Saturday, January 21, 2012

So Random Saturday: IM A MEAN MOM!

Im the meanest mom!
It all started a few years ago, when I let my oldest son start playing "war" games on his xbox.
I knew that his friends had these games and he enjoyed playing them. With him wanting to be a cop and interested in being the army when he gets older I didnt see any harm.
Well over the years and after spending lots of money on games like "Black Ops" and "Socom" and seeing a huge change in his behavior and one day watching him play one of these games and actually hearing what they say in the game and the actual content of these video games I finally said NO MORE!
Me and Joseph (my significant other/daddy) agreed to get rid of all the war games and any game with the rating of Teen or Mature.
My son who is 9 of course is upset and now I feel bad cause I feel like he should have never been able to play these games in the first place. Its been about a month since hes been able to play any of these games and I have seen a huge change in his behavior, for the better. We turned in all the "bad" games for "good" games.
I do feel though now that I am isolating him but in my heart I know I made the right choice!
Super random I know just wanted to share this emotional time as a mommy and maybe see if other mommys have gone through this?


19 comments:

LaurianaHope said...

I have the same problem with my little bro he's 13 and react exactly like your son and i really didn't know what to do about it he prefers to play and stop working at school and do his homework and i know that it's not my job to say what he has to do i'm not his mum but it's difficult for to see him ruin his future for games. So thank you for the post i'll talk about it to my mum soon and we'll see :)
So thank you and good night (in France it's midnight :) )

Anonymous said...

aww...u have done ur job as mother and u made right choice for his better future...

Anonymous said...

I'm a preschool teacher and I completely understand what your going through! Don't feel bad because what you are doing is looking after your child's future. My friends and other half work in law and there is a famous
case where a boy shot's his parents because of a game!!
Here is an article :
http://www.truecrimereport.com/2011/06/teen_daniel_petric_murders_mom.php

When you see or read about these cases you know your doing the right thing!:)

MissTwist said...

Yeah, my son is 5 and plays these games but we are very careful and play with him. My son is 5 and knows the difference between what's real and what isn't. I think that plays a huge part in it. My son doesn't swear.. he knows that its bad. Sometimes my husband and I slip and swear on occasion and he gets upset. I think the biggest thing when letting your children play games is making sure that they know that its a game and isn't real. That plays a huge part in it. I don't let him play gruesome games though.. some are just gross! :-P But we do let him play call of duty. Some games you can turn the violence off and the swearing off. We went and bought the kinect so that we could buy him the more for children games. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom too! But explaining as to why you did these things helps. It makes me angry when people say its because of games.. it isn't! its because the parents don't explain to them that its only a game and it isn't real. that it isn't alright to do those types of things in real life!

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy to see another post here. Was begining to think you forgot about us...jk :-) Anyhow you made a great motherly choice. Thanks for sharing your story.

Texasarmywife1 said...

With my husband being in the army i contimplate whether or not i will let my son play when he gets older bc while it may not be healthy for him it is our harsh reality. This will better help me with that decision thanks for taking the time to post it :)

Anonymous said...

Good job! My son is too young for video games but my younger brother has a similar problem. My mom recently started letting him buy more mature video games (he's 13) and I've noticed a change in his behavior (although I think it's partly just because he's going through the p word lol). Anyway it's good to know other moms hold their ground against this stuff because the day will come all to soon when I have to stand my ground and not allow violent games in my home; at least not for my children lol (my husband plays these games. We'll have to hide them or something).

Anonymous said...

I'm doing the same with my son. He is 6 & my nephews who are the same age play those games. Watching the way they behave versus my son, I am keeping my ground on not letting my kid play those kinds of games until he is of age.

Anonymous said...

There is absolutely no way in heck your son should have been playing games intended for SEVENTEEN year olds when he was younger than NINE. I'm glad you wised up to what the hell you were exposing him to but seriously, WTF. I guess we all make mistakes but you were kinda a role model of a great mom in my eyes before this...

Sparklz and Shine said...

Wow well done on such a hard decision. I know how hard it is to go against what’s going on in the playground and help your kid understand it too. So many parents out there just don’t get what these games are doing to their kids and see it as harmless stuff. Before I had my own I was really struck by how my mates kids then only toddlers reacted to the footage of 9/11 – they immediately started crashing their toy planes. This lesson really stood me in good stead for how I approached appropriate TV and games. It’s hard but you did a great thing. I also try to explain to mine that just because a film is an 18 doesn’t mean that I’d be comfortable watching it. Games and films are other peoples imagination and sometimes what they imagine and make into a game/film wouldn’t make me feel happy or would play around with my mind. Above all keep talking it through with them. Well done for posting It’s always good to know you are not alone – pear pressure doesn’t stop when you become a parent does it – sigh. xx

Susan said...

In my opinion, 9 is really too young for anything other than the most basic of video games, and it should be very limited time-wise. I admit I am conservative when it comes to tv watching (we don't have one), movies (only g-rated and even then we are quite selective), and video games (only our oldest who is 12, is occasionally allowed to play and only g-rated games!). When they are young, it is time to protect their innocent, developing, and very impressionable minds.
from a mommy to 5,
I know what you are going through but stand strong! your children need you to make these kinds of decisions! you will never regret sheltering your children from the violence, hatred, and evil that is in the world and is taught by tv and video games.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you realized that some video games are so bad for our kids. I just bought their 1st video game system (Wii) last year, when my stepson was 12 and my son 8. I however, do not let them play anything but appropriate games...no mature games allowed in my house. I also limit their time to no more than 1 hr per day...only 4 days a week. I believe many parents let their kids have computers, tv and video games in their rooms so that the kids don't bother them...Thats wrong to do because how the hell can you monitor how much tv and stuff your kids watch. You should feel proud of yourself for realizing that you made a mistake and corrected. Call me old fashion but I believe there's an appropriate age for everything. Most kids now a days don't have much to look forward to when they get older because they do it all by the time they are 13.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I am glad you realized this now rather than not at all...my son is 13 and I don't care what all his friends or cousins are doing...we do realize that games have become the "norm" for kids these days, but in my house it's MY rules, I am not responsible for other people's kids...he is only allowed to play on the weekends, and we limit his game time to 2-3 hours, AFTER he has finished any homework, done some chores and read at least 60 minutes...and you know what? He doesn't complain. And your son will also eventually appreciate rules and restrictions you place on him. Girl, it's so important these days to guide our sons in a positive manner. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

wow I agree with the previous comment. I don't care either what other kids are doing or not doing. In my house they have to follow my rules...Im the parent. Now a days everyone get their kids cell phones at a very early age, tv and computer in kids rooms, just because they don't want their kids friends to think they are uncool. Who cares what other people think. Im not here to be my kids friend, but his parent. I believe the only time you could be your childs friend is when they are grown and have their own lives. People need to stop trying so hard to keep up with the Joneses. All this rushing around from activity to activity every day and every season is stressing many kids out. Kids need time to just play and be what they are...Kids.

Love2Dougie said...

I have a 10 year old and just did the same thing. He's like a drug addict in withdrawal, but over the past 2 weeks I've noticed a bit of a change. PS I'm obsessed with your blog and videos! Keep up the good work!

Julia said...

I admire your decision and have to say way to go! It's tough to do but you are teaching him how to make well-thought out decisions and how to stand up to the kind of peer pressure that may one day offer him the opportunity to take drugs, committ criminal acts and be disrespectful to women. Most moms I know struggle with this decision and most sight the reason of "so many of his friends play those games, so I caved." If more moms had the strength to do what you're doing there would be a lot less peer pressure to contend with. I also recommend you read up on the scientific research that has shown video games to be addictive and that young minds truly do have trouble distinguishing between games/tv and reality. If you show children the news and a show, they may not be able to tell the difference. Not to mention that the brain cannot unsee what it has seen. They may be unrememembered for much of the time but those images and sounds remain there forever as memories and thoughts and can be recalled by unexpected triggers. You did the right thing!

Anonymous said...

Bottom line is, we all make mistakes! The good thing is when we finally realize what we have done or are doing, change it! I'm glad to hear u didn't fall into "well everyone is doing it so why should I change now?" I commend u for doing what is right for your child even tho he might think you're a "mean mom". You ARE being a good mom for not letting society or words interfere in your childs upbringing. Congrats ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this Kasey :) PS. You're NOT a mean mom. You are the opposite because you are protecting him.

Anonymous said...

I feel the same way I know a mother who let her son start playing video games by the age of 5 so by the age of 9 he was playing moder warfare and at the age of 12 listening to drake and rapping i thought he was a good kid now i see he is changing into something wrong so i will not let my kids play video games unless they are for their age frame