Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Dealing with Picky Dressers

Mariah, my 6 year old about to turn 7 in a couple days!
 (I picked this out this morning, she was actually okay with it)
 So me and Mariah are constantly arguing about what she wears.
Whatever she picks out I dislike what ever I pick out she dislikes.
I mean everything she has I approve of, of course cause Im the one that buys it.
But she wants to wear tanks and camis or big (prom like dresses) or non weather appropriate things.
Oh and our mornings.. they are horrible.
She has even went as far as hiding the clothes I set out for her at night! 
"/
 So I did some research and found this...
Picky Dresser
Vicki says her 7-year-old daughter, Raelee, is very selective about what clothes she wears and the way she looks. She changes her clothes repeatedly and throws a temper tantrum every morning if her outfits don't perfectly match and her shoes aren't just right. Is this a sign of something more serious? "I just want her to be happy. I don't want her to worry about the way she looks at 7," the mom says.

Dr. Phil tells Vicki, "I think this is a little girl who, on the upside, is taking pride in how she looks. She pays attention to it. It matters to her if she has a spot on her shirt." Dr. Phil tells Vicki to consider letting Raelee have an impact on what clothing is bought for her and maybe having fewer clothing choices would help.

Dr. Sears says, "She has some anxiety about how she dresses, and I think you're treating that with more anxiety. You're yelling at her, her brothers are yelling at her, and she's kind of getting the message that ‘I'm not good at dressing myself, so I'm going to have to really obsess about how I look.'" He recommends that Vicki ask her daughter for fashion advice and opinion when she gets dressed, to take the focus off herself. 

Dr. Phil says he and Robin let their son, Jay, wear his Hawaiian Jams shorts and red high-top sneakers without laces every day when he was young, because it made him happy. "You go with it, and they'll move through it. She has a fashion sense and a desire. Embrace that. Embrace her nuances, but you don't want to fight her individuality here. You're picking the wrong battle."

 - Don't fight individuality
 - Do embrace a child's nuances 

 And it hit me Im choosing the WRONG BATTLES!
So I will back off a bit, I definitely think a good cleaning of her closet will help too!
Well just wanted to share.. Im sure Im not the only mommy that struggles with this.. well not anymore, lets hope <3



9 comments:

Deb said...

No, you're not alone... went through this with my 8-years daughter last year, and after trying to fight/reason/threaten her, I gave her some space (although some mornings I had to close my eyes before she put her coat on..). I must say it helped, now she understands what is wearable for school, and I let her wear what she wants when we stay home. Don't worry, as we say in French "It's just a bad moment"!!! Take care, Deb.

InsightwithArtemis said...

This was really cute reading :) I got to choose what I wore most of the time when I was younger, but whatever my mom chose was really embarassing, ie colorful jumpers lol. I think that being embarassed plays a huge factor into picking what clothes to wear because even now I get that same feeling where I don't want to be the odd one out (in a "bad" way). Sharing fashion choices also brings people together, no matter what age. If I have a daughter who wants to be a part of a tutu club at age 9, fine. You guys can always look back with fondness and laugh at what she chose to wear for school :)

katie♥ said...

going thru this with my 9 yr old son and im sure =i will be going thru the same with my daughter who is 5 now. Its so thru though~pick and choose those battles. a freind of mine got really pised off @ her 15 yr old this morning for leaving without a sweater...i think she was more upset that he wouldnt listen and put the weater on than him leaving for school with out it but the point is, he left without it, will be thinking later "damn its cold-should brought the damn sweater" and when he gets home later, all will be forgotten. Def. not worth the battle...thanks Kasey!

Ana said...

I am that way with my almost 7 year old. It's really hard to let him choose. I am sure trying. and he is just like your daughter he likes to dress nice and he likes to look in the mirror

Anonymous said...

ya i understand its hard to send your kids off to school in what we might consider unprepared or inappropriate/mismatching clothes but i think its important to let them express their individuality. i remember my mom sending me to school in things that embarassed me soo bad, i can even remember every detail of a few times i got teased for what she made me wear. then again i can also remember wearing things to school i picked then realizing throughout the day it was a bad choice or getting rude comments from some people and i learned my lesson the hard way lol

x said...

I think too it might be a smart idea to remove non-weather appropriate items during their off seasons (put tank tops away during winter, ect.) or make a fashion menu like you do when you guys play restaurant. Pretend to be a fashion designer and she's the model and these are the clothes for today's "show". Maybe it'll help to make it a game like that? IDK just kinda thinking out loud...

Anonymous said...

I hope this problem has gotten better for you! When I was 6 and 7 I was extremely picky about my clothes. My mom and I would battle over this every morning before school. I also would change my clothes several times a day while at home. Overall, I'm pretty sure this is a fairly normal issue at that age as kids test their individuality, etc. Hopefully you two get through it ok, I did lol.

Anonymous said...

I love this topic...I have this issue with my 5yr old every morning...I'm thankful I'm not alone :)
P.s. I'm not a YouTube or blog person n you got me to watch most of your videos....I'm a mommy of 4, 29yrs old n been married now for 12yrs...love how you embrace motherhood n also make time for yourself.

Aloha,
Dee from Hawaii

Anonymous said...

Just seperate her clothes like winter clothes when its cold summer clothes when its hot into boxes and when the season changes switch boxes and that way the clothes she picks will be more suitable